In life there are things that can be controlled and things that cannot. meeting something that cannot be controlled can result in feelings of powerlessness, fear, anger and discontent to name but a few! There is often a feeling of having to change things, of having to do something, even when there is nothing that can be done. Accepting what can’t be changed feels too hard, too impossible, and even sometimes wrong…but what if the choice is to always struggle and feel powerless/angry etc. or to accept it? How do you begin to accept something connected to such strong feelings?
Understand what acceptance is Acceptance is often thought of as being ok with the situation but what if acceptance is actually just about recognising the reality of the situation rather than a judgment on how you think and feel about it?
Acknowledge Your Feelings Suppressing emotions or denying them is counterproductive. It's essential to validate your feelings without judgment. Understand that it's natural to feel upset, disappointed, or hurt by circumstances beyond your control. Sometimes, just acknowledging, naming and sitting with an emotion can lessen its impact and/or it’s duration.
Focus on What You Can Control You can’t have control over everything in your lives and can often waste your time and energy trying to control the uncontrollable. Instead, maybe, channel your energy towards areas of your life where you can make a difference. Instead of dwelling on what's out of your hands, redirect your attention to actions that align with your values and contribute positively to your well-being.
Seek Support Talk to someone you trust about your feelings and challenges. It can be a friend, family member, or professional. Sharing your struggles can provide relief and offer new perspectives.
Practice Mindfulness and Meditation These practices help ground you in the present moment and cultivate acceptance. By observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can develop a deeper understanding and compassion for yourself.
Let Go of the 'Why' Constantly asking "Why did this happen?" can keep you stuck and use up energy and focus. Instead how would it be to focus on "How can I cope?" or "What can I learn from this?".
Set Boundaries It’s okay to limit your exposure to situations or people that exacerbate feelings of powerlessness or frustration. Setting boundaries is a form of self-care.
Embrace Self-compassion Be kind to yourself. Understand that everyone has limitations and that it's okay to have them. Accepting what we can't change is not a sign of weakness but a testament to our strength and resilience.
Remember, It’s a Journey Acceptance doesn't happen overnight. It’s a process, and it’s okay to have setbacks. Celebrate small victories along the way and remind yourself of the progress you've made.
Finding acceptance for things you can’t change can lighten the burdens you carry. It isn’t an easy thing to do, but maybe its worth it?