So you probably heard the devastating news last Saturday about Caroline Flack taking her own life and you have probably seen all the #bekind stuff out there, what is your take on it?
I find it incredibly sad that it takes the loss of such a vibrant woman for this to be a conversation worth having. It is so depressing that we even need to have this conversation, that being kind even has to be a thing now because we, as a society judge others so readily.
Why are we so quick to judge others?
Why do we think we know better and know what others should be doing?
Why do we have such a need to know what has happened in others lives?
Why are we so quick to point out others behaviour/actions etc.?
It is so easy to get caught up in the bitching, backstabbing, highlighting errors, judging etc.
Do we do it because it gives us connection, commonality with the person we are talking to? Does doing that really help us to feel better or is it just that we are connecting with another person?
Could it be that we don’t always have an awareness of how this impacts on another?
Or that we only see our own perspective and don’t appreciate that everyone views things differently?
Or could it be that we get some kind of pleasure out of it because it means we are better than someone, that we are more powerful maybe?
Or is it because we are scared of that person/behaviour/action and what it may mean for us?
I don’t know the answers, What do you think?
I only know that from my perspective, in the past, it was more about feeling more than, being better than.
Is speaking like that about another really beneficial or is it encouraging toxicity within us that can leak out into other aspects of ourselves and our lives?
I am no saint, I have judged, and gossiped etc. in the past, however through my counselling work, through personal experience I now do my best not to, to try and understand others more and why they do the things they do. It’s horrible to be on the receiving end of such judgement etc so why would I want to cause another to feel like this?
Everyone has a reason for acting the way that they do, I may not understand or agree with this but I need to begin to respect their reason and let my opinion on the matter go, I need to define what is their stuff and what is my own.
Maybe as well #bekind isn’t just about being kind to others but also kind to ourselves, would you judge and speak to others the way you speak to yourself? The longest relationship you will ever have is with yourself, you control what that relationship is like, do you want it to be toxic, full of judgement, criticism and rhetoric or do you want it to be positive and nurturing? How that relationship looks is entirely up to you!
Lastly #itwillbeok if you are struggling, if you are in a dark place there are people out there you can talk to, people who are ready and willing to listen and people who care. Please, if you are struggling reach out.
The Samaritans – 116 123
Papyrus - 0800 068 4141
The Crisis Team (Chorley) - 01772 773433
The Start team - 01772 676173 (9am-5pm Monday-Friday)
The Haven (mental Health support) - 0330 008 3672
SANEline – (Out of hours mental health support 4:30pm – 10:30pm) –0300 304 7000