Coping at Christmas

Christmastime is often described as joyful, but for many people it can feel anything but. If you’re living with anxiety, grieving a loss, or navigating sensory overload, December’s noise and pressure can be exhausting. You are not alone—and you’re not failing if the season feels heavy. This post offers gentle ideas to help you move through the holidays with more steadiness, along with how counselling can support you in Chorley (PR6) and online.

Why can this time of year feel so hard?

Even welcome traditions bring change to our routines—different foods, crowded shops, altered sleep, family dynamics, financial pressure, and expectations about how we “should” feel. If you’re managing grief, the contrast between your inner world and the festive messaging outside can be painful. If you’re sensitive to sound, light or touch, the season’s intensity can tip your nervous system into overwhelm and that’s before we even think about the pressures to be a certain way, to buy the perfect gifts etc.

Noticing that it’s hard is a meaningful first step. Naming your experience doesn’t make it worse; it makes it clearer.

Small anchors that help

You don’t need a perfect plan. A few simple anchors can create pockets of calm.

• Protect your basics. Try to keep a steady sleep window, drink water, and eat at regular intervals. Predictable care helps your body feel safer.

• Pause points. Build in two or three breath-length pauses each day—before getting out of bed, in the car, or after a meal. Try a slow exhale (in for 4, out for 6) to settle the nervous system.

• Gentle movement. A short walk, stretching while the kettle boils, swaying to a favourite song—it all counts.

• Sensory support. Sunglasses for bright lights, earplugs or noise-reducing headphones in busy places, a soft scarf or small scented balm you can carry. Give your senses something soothing to anchor to.

• Boundaries you can keep. Decide in advance how long you’ll stay at events, how much you’ll spend, and what topics are off-limits. It’s okay to say, “I’m going to step outside for a few minutes,” or, “I can’t talk about that today.”

• Expectation edits. Swap “make it perfect” for “make it gentle”. Choose the two or three things that matter most and let the rest be simple.

• Connection, not performance. Reach out to someone who feels safe—a friend, neighbour, helpline, or online community. You don’t have to appear festive to be worthy of company.

  
  

If you’re grieving

Grief often swells around anniversaries and holidays. You might feel pressure to “put on a brave face,” or you may worry about dampening others’ joy.

• Make space for your person. Light a candle, cook their favourite dish, play their song, or include their name in a toast. Rituals can be tender, not heavy.

• Plan your escape hatch. Agree a signal with a trusted person if you need to leave early or take a breather.

• Choose what helps today. It’s okay if what supported you last year doesn’t fit this time. Grief moves; your choices can too.

  
  

If you live with anxiety

Anxiety thrives on “what ifs” and over-commitment.

• Shrink the horizon. Focus on the next small step: shower, tea, shoes on, breathe.

• Pre-decide your “no”. Write a kind phrase you can send or say: “Thank you for inviting me—this year I’m keeping things quieter to look after my health.”

• Body-first calming. Long exhales, grounding through the feet, or naming five things you can see can bring you back into the present when your mind races ahead.

  
  

If you experience sensory overload

Festive environments can be intensely stimulating.

• Map your hotspots. Identify the noisiest shops or times and plan alternatives—click-and-collect, early mornings, or smaller local stores.

• Create a decompression routine. After busy moments, give yourself 10–15 minutes somewhere low-stimulus: dim lights, soft blanket, quiet music, rocking or gentle pressure.

• Communicate needs. Share with loved ones what helps—quieter lighting, breaks between activities, or a separate room to retreat to.

  
  

Conversations that feel difficult

Family gatherings can stir old dynamics. Before seeing people, take a moment to ask:

• What am I willing to talk about today?

• What topics drain me or feel unsafe?

• Who can I sit next to or message if I need support?

It isn’t rude to redirect or to say, “Let’s leave that for another time.” Choosing peace over approval is a healthy boundary.

A permission slip for a gentler Christmas

You have permission to keep things small. To be honest about how you feel. To opt for comfort over tradition. To remember and to celebrate in your own way. To change your mind. To rest.

How counselling can help

Therapy offers a steady, confidential space to pause and breathe when everything else feels loud. Together we can:

• Untangle the mix of grief, anxiety, stress and expectation that the season brings.

• Understand how your nervous system responds—and build strategies that soothe it.

• Explore boundaries that protect your energy and relationships.

• Create personalised rituals and routines that feel kind, not heavy.

• Make sense of family patterns and practise new ways of responding.

  
  

I offer gentle, person-centred counselling in Chorley (PR6) and online. Sessions move at your pace. There’s no requirement to be “festive” or to find silver linings—just a calm place to be exactly where you are and to find what helps.

If you’d like support this season, you’re welcome to get in touch. Whether we meet for a few sessions or over a longer period, we’ll focus on what matters to you: more self-compassion, clearer boundaries, and a little more calm—one small step at a time.