NLP presuppositions - what are they and how can they help you? Part 2
So in the last blog we got to the 8th presupposition, I wonder how you have felt and what you have thought about the ones so far, if any of them have been helpful or challenged your way of thinking and I wonder what the next 6 will bring up for you?
9. You cannot not communicate
Even when you say nothing you are still communicating with your facial expressions, body language etc. It is impossible not to communicate, it can be helpful to remember this when talking to anyone, does what you say match what your body says? Does theirs? We actually get more from non-verbal communication than verbal interestingly, so what does yours say right now? This links into the next presupposition…
10. The meaning of your communication is the response you get
What you say may not be what the other person hears, they may misinterpret what you say because they are looking at it through their lens, their perception of the world, which is different to yours (remember the 1st presupposition, the map is not the territory), so if they misunderstand you find a way to help them understand. It doesn’t mean you have failed or communicated badly, it is just the method of communication hasn’t worked for them, so find a different one because….
11. The person with the greatest flexibility of thought and behaviour will have the greatest influence in any interaction.
The more you can change the way you communicate and think the more you will be able to get the results you want. The more you can adapt how you communicate (verbally and non-verbally) to be fully heard and understood by the other person, remember everyone has their own view of the world and the meaning of your communication is the response you get from the other person rather than what you may have intended.
12. Experience has structure
When something happens, it is what it is, you can’t change the event itself, what you can change is the structure of your experience, how you relate to it, the story you tell yourself about its meaning. If the story you tell yourself about it isn’t helping you change it.
13. The unconscious mind is benevolent
Your unconscious mind is always working to help and look after you in the best way it can. It has been doing this since you were a child and has been absorbing information, building habits/programmes since then, habits/programmes designed to help and protect you, though they may no longer serve that purpose
14. Human behaviour is purposeful
Whether you act with or without conscious awareness there is always a reason for you acting in that way. If the behaviour isn’t helping you then maybe reflect on what the purpose is behind that behaviour, why might you be doing it? Then, if you feel you still need that purpose, look for other ways to fulfil it that will be more productive for you. This links into what I mentioned in the last blog, that you are not your behaviour and….
15. All behaviour has a positive intention
Every behaviour you have will have come from a positive intention, the behaviour may not be positive anymore, but it is filling some kind of need in you, it is working to achieve something for you. What can be seen as negative behaviour is only that way because you have not seen the purpose behind it. Work out the positive intention behind the behaviours you want to change and then work towards finding a new way to fill that intention. It can also be useful to think of this when someone is acting in a way that is negative, remember that the negative behaviour is not them, it is just their way of fulfilling a need within them in the only way they know how at the time because….
16. People work perfectly
No one is wrong or broken, they are working in the best way they can to get what they need/want, if something isn’t working for you it is about finding a way to change this in a way that works for you and your life.
So there you have it, please do let me and others know what you think about these, have they changed anything for you?