I realise it has been quite some time since I posted a blog, I can’t believe where the year has gone, its September already, how did that happen?
I have always liked September, I love the change in seasons, watching the trees change colour, feeling the chill in the air, looking forward to big warm jumpers and evenings by the fire (not so keen on the spiders coming in the house more though!!).
September, to me, is synonymous with new starts, as much so as new year. It marks (in England) a new school year, new teachers, new classes, new things to learn and endless possibilities.
I have always been excited by the possibilities and the challenge of new things, I LOVE embarking on a new challenge or a new bit of training – not as good at the sticking by it though! Often, once I have started something, in the past I either talked myself out of it, told myself I can’t do it/I am not good enough so may as well give up on it OR found something new and exciting to direct my attention too instead. This has been my pattern for many, many years (more than I care to admit) but, having recently discovered shiny object syndrome (literally as it sounds, being easily distracted by the next big thing), I have realised what I do, that it is a form of self-sabotage, and I don’t want to do it anymore. This, as I tell all my client’s, is the first steps in making change, realising that you are doing something that isn’t productive anymore and then deciding that it is time it changed. Every behaviour starts out with a positive intention, it is just sometimes, over time, that intention and behaviour doesn’t serve us so well. Now I can see that constantly changing and trying different things was my way of a) making myself feel good enough and b) finishing before I expected to fail, it isn’t protecting me any longer and I don’t need it to tell me that I am good enough because I know (after receiving counselling and life coaching myself) that I am enough. Now it is up to me to decide how I want it to be and how I can get there, what little steps can I do to get to where I want to be.
If you can see some of yourself in this, if you recognise that there is something in you, a behaviour, habit, whatever, that needs to change why not look for a counsellor or life coach, someone to help you unpick why you do what you do and maybe find a new way of being that works in a more positive way.